notes of nonsense #101: nightmare

ekceli, kebelakangan ni guwa selalu mimpi lu, LeeLee. even guwa busy nak mati ponn, still guwa teringat lu gak. juz aritu satu hari guwa busy sangat, ada test. tidoq lewat. rasanya da basuh kaki, pakai bedak sejuk semua. then guwa dapat mimpi pasal lu. i woke up, crying. wailing. chanting your name. chanting prayers for your safety.

i had a nightmare. about you. you involved in serious accident. you were paralyzed from hips below. you lost your ability to speak. swollen face. and i come to visit you. there's no one taking care of you. you were alone. waiting. dissolves in stabbing pain. and i sit there beside you. silence. you only stare at me. can't speak. but i understand. you want me to be there. i know. and i'm the one taking care of you for the rest of your life. you wanted me to move on, leaving you. but nevertheless, i keep hold of you. till the last breath of yours.

i woke up, sweating, crying, chanting prayers for your safety. till now, i still can't get rid of that dream from my mind. LeeLee, anywhere you are, do take care. i can't take care of you anymore, i leave you in Allah's shelter. only He who knows what is hidden. :')