assalam. guwa tak pasti belog guwa ni ada orang nak baca ke tidak tp, err tak kisahlah. guwa nak buat post jugak since ni satu satunya medium yang boleh buat guwa tak serabut otak dan mengganggu sistem kumbahan guwa. haha.
heh. dalam blogpost sebelum ni guwa macam ada tersebut pasal lima golden rules kan. so harini guwa nak bercerita laa pasal golden rules guwa ni.
ekceli, takde siapa pun yang tahu kewujudan golden rules ni. even not my besties incik Oppa, Omma Halila dan semua lah. ni je first time dlm sejarah guwa reveal kewujudan golden rules guwa ni.
sejarahnya, golden rules ni tercipta hasil drp perasaan frust tergolek terhumban guwa terhadap first love guwa, LeeLee. that time i was 18. baru nak masuk part 2 asasi undang undang. sebelum ni zaman sekolah adalah guwa crush situ sana sini, skandal sini sana situ. tp takdelah serious. tp dengan mamat bertuah comel ni jelah yg guwa seriousnya. huii jangan tak tahu, siap plan tu acah acah nak amek master sama sama lepas kahwin. bhahaha dasat gila doh. in short, sayang gila jugak laa and when it ended, guwa meroyan agak lama. dia punya tahap frust tu perghh makan tahun. dalam 3 tahun gak laa guwa tunggu dia ni. degree sem 3 which is after 2 tahun baru kitorang bercakap and tegur semula macam biasa. perasaan tu mmg ada. menyesal, suka, sayang, marah semua ada tp after sem 3 tu guwa dan dia pun da boleh content perasaan tu. and kawan jelah macam biasa walaupun sgt jarang bertegur.
okay, menyimpang. berbalik kepada apam balik, lepas je clash dgn dia tu, guwa sumpah jadi kosong gila. takde perasaan kat sesape walaupun banyak yg test line. so nak dijadikan cerita, guwa develop satu perasaan ni; perasaan nk mainkan semua orang. berperasaan nak membuayakan diri so semua akan rasa sakit frust bercinta camne yg guwa rasa. jahat? memang pun. haha. lepas break tu mmg tak dinafikan guwa agak jahat. rebel sana sini, dan kuat berjoli. bukan pegi clubbing headbang semua tu. joli in terms of guwa suka berjalan sorang sorang. pegi kl sorang sorang semata mata sebab bosan. pegi tengok konsert Mystery Jets sorang sorang, tengok teater kt KLPac sorang sorang. ada laa time tu best guyfriends guwa akan teman contoh pegi konsert paramore ke, pegi tengok Sigur Ross ke. yang macam bahaya sikit crowdnya tu adalah Kurt datang teman.
Ya Allah, menyimpang lagi! okay. golden rules ni fungsinya adalah sebagai defence mechanism guwa supaya guwa dapat membuayakan diri (*read: playboy, mainkan hati lelaki) dengan jayanya dan utk mengelakkan sebarang emotional attachment and frustration.
Rules #1 : never speak of your true feelings.
tak kisah ah korang rasa jijik ke, rasa dia tak hensem ke, rasa dia ni skema sgt ke sampai rambut belah tengah, butang baju sampai ke dagu, or korang mmg totally smitten dgn dia eg: dia hensem gila, baik gila, korang rindu dia ke apa. Don't Say It. just don't. guwa takkan puji walaupun adalah sorang ni dulu hensem mcm henry golding doh. guwa takkan ckp apa yg guwa rasa sbb once kau jujur tentang perasaan kau, unconsciously kau sebenarnya da buat emotional ties dgn dia. so, if plan kau just nak membuaya, buat apa nak confess apa apa. takpayah nak jujur sgt lah! (*gelak jahat). dan lagi, when we play hard to catch and hard to read, lagilah lelaki kejar. well, we need to maintain the market kan? (*sila muntah pelangi sekarang)
Rules#2 : remember important dates
haha. ingat girls je ke mengada nak kena ingat bila birthday, bila fist time date, bila first time jumpa? eh lelaki pun sama kott. always remember important dates. ni selalu guwa save dlm calendar fon. haha. buat reminder bila birthday dia. sbb bila kita ingat, dia akan rasa kita cares. so dia akan sentiasa rasa smitten dgn kita. lalala.
Rules#3 : observe and do what he likes
dia suka lagu The Strokes? well, kau cuba search
lagu tu kat youtube, then cakap "awak taw tak lagu Last Night by The Strokes tu? sedap. sy suka gila." Dia suka kanak kanak? cuba post gambar pegang baby kat twitter. dia suka makan laksa, cakap kau tengah belajar masak laksa dari mama. kompom dia smitten dgn kau. norma manusia, mereka akan cari persamaan to make compatibility. bila dia rasa macam banyak gila benda sama yg kau suka, dia suka, dia akan fikir korang ada chemistry. sedangkan hakikatnya..hahaha (*guwa mmg jahat gila dulu. i'm a very bad person. faker, pretender, back then)
Rules#4 : never put sentimental values on people
well. sentimental value ye. susah nak terangkan bab ni sebab guwa baru je break rules#4 ni semalam. sentimental values ni mcm, kau samakan dia dengan ex boyfriend kau. kau nak kat dia, sebab dia seiras dgn ex kau. susahlah camtu. bila kau letak sentimental value, kau susah nak move on. to play safe, don't do it.
Rules#5 : lu pikir laa sendiri
yes, guwa tak melawak. kena pikir sendiri mengikut situasi sbb manusia ni lain lain attitudenya. so utk #5 mmg takde concrete rules. kau kena adapt and adopt. okay. nanti aku cerita lagi. busy ni. haha bye.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
notes of nonsense #126: persoalan eksistensialis dalam diri
assalam. hai. lama tak menaip. sebab guwa da lama takde laptop and hidup guwa totally dependant on tab semata mata. tak tahu kenapa guwa start menulis semula. padahal tak best kott menulis pakai tab. sakit kepala tahu?
haha. sebenarnya guwa da nak mansuhkan aje blog sampah ni. eh ingat akta hasutan je ke yg nak kena mansuh? blog ni pun bole jugak. haha. tapi since 3, 4 hari ni guwa agak serabut otak, so tu sebabnya guwa menulis semula.
guwa ada satu persoalan. kau sayangkan seseorang ni. terlalu sayang bagai nak gila. but on one incident, you makes him so mad and he left. you and him didn't talk for years. removed from friendlist fb, request friends pun ignored. then sampai satu tahap, kau rasa pasrah je pada takdir. kau biarkan saje takdir yg tentukan destiny korang walaupun hati korang sumpah tersiat. you distanced yourselves from each other, on reason yg korang nak tanamkan rasa benci dlm diri korang but the moment of truth is, korang sebenarnya berharap yg korang berdua menjalani hubungan tu mcm biasa, macam dulu. berjoli katak malam malam kat chow kit tengok mat rempit and belen, share snack plate makan berdua, baring kat kfc sambil selfie depan webcam, berlaga kepala dekat eskalator time square, acah acah tiger dance dalam ktm. you know, do things that makes you happy, makes you alive, makes you, the real you. orang yg sayangkan kau, who loves you before you had everything, who loves you for simply being you. who show you sunshine when all you had left is only shadows this one people, who so believe in you that you started to believe in yourself again.
guwa ada sorang ni. that makes me feel that way. dlm byk2 person dlm hidup aku, dia laa aku punya archilles heels, dan juga kekuatan aku. satu satunya insan yg aku tak boleh pandang tepat pada mata, yg guwa jd speechless bila berkata, yg sentiasa buat aku rasa hidup dlm ertikata sebenar. no hypocritsy, selfless, immense. even buat benda simple dgn dia, melepak dkt mamak minum milo ais and makan roti telur, aku rasa, bahagia sgt2. dia satu satunya orang yg boleh buat my heart sings when i'm with him.
aku sendiri sebenarnya tak faham dgn relationship ni. cuma aku harap, ia takkan berakhir. aku sendir pun takley nak name what type of relationship that we had at this time. yg penting, apa yg aku rasa, saya sayang awak bagai nak gila. i thought i already removed you in my life, tapi ekceli, tolak semua ego dan super ego aku, kau adalah id aku. dan kaulah kunci id aku. let us be honest. aku berkawan dgn ramai org. but sebenarnya org yg terpilih rapat dgn aku, mesti ada karekteristik kau here and there. mata, cara jalan, rambut, the way he smiles, suara, etc etc.
aku taktaw apa rasa kau pada aku, tp apa yg aku rasa pd kau is, you makes me happy beyond everything and anything. you makes me feel alive. dengan kau, aku boleh jadi Fara, yg suka pakai skinny dgn shirt dan sneakers. yg suka lawan cakap, yg suka tergolek terbalik dlm ktm, yg mulut murai and forever suka mendera kau. haha. dgn kau adalah saat aku tak hipokrit, tak cuba berlakon utk jadi org lain. aku tak payah ubah apa apa pun dgn kau.takpayah nakpakai dress, nak ckp slow slow bagai. haha. awak stu je manusia yg boleh buat sy bercakap dlm tone menjerit. excited nye pasal.
awak, i'm so attached to you, sub-consciously. yes, saya ada lima golden rules of buaya-ism. camne nak repel people. golden rules yg selama ni sy praktis as defence mechanism sy supaya sy tak attach emotionally dgn sesiapa. tp dgn awk, my golden rules is rubbish. because here, deepest part of my heart, you're already tattooed there. sy jd buaya, ramai crush here and there, semata mata sbb nak fulfill gap yg awk tinggalkan dlm sini. i tried years after years to replace you, jd org lain, but you still there. irreplaceable.
bila jadi buaya, kenal macam macam jenis orang, sy jd lost dgn golden rules yg sy cipta sendiri. sy jadi taktaw apa yg sy nak. oh that guy there, comel. ada iras awk pd rambut. oh that dude here,wow mata sepet like you. nampak tak sy da letakkan awk as characteristic dm sy berkawan dgn org?
i've put sentimental value on people. and that value is you. and here i am. lost. mencari awak. menidakkan awak. i want you, but i'm not gonna say that i want you.cause i fear that you will reject me. again and again. yes, ni perasaan paling bangang dan celaka sekali. my golden rules is destroying me. aku lost sbb banyak sgt deny attachment aku pd kau.
haha. padan muka aku. losing you, losing myself, jd buaya tanpa arah tuju. greed is good. but it is you that i want but can't get. haha. sy sayang awak bagai nak gila. then, now always. did you feel the same about me?
"now tell me, kita berdua ni sama je kan? kita berdua tak tahu apa yg kita nak,"
"hmm, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. running at the same old ground, and what have we found? same old fear."
kau nak. dia nak. tapi kau dan dia takut utk ambil peluang. takut pd circumstances yg mendatang. arghh ni adalah perasaan paling celaka pernah aku rasa setakat ini.
haha. sebenarnya guwa da nak mansuhkan aje blog sampah ni. eh ingat akta hasutan je ke yg nak kena mansuh? blog ni pun bole jugak. haha. tapi since 3, 4 hari ni guwa agak serabut otak, so tu sebabnya guwa menulis semula.
guwa ada satu persoalan. kau sayangkan seseorang ni. terlalu sayang bagai nak gila. but on one incident, you makes him so mad and he left. you and him didn't talk for years. removed from friendlist fb, request friends pun ignored. then sampai satu tahap, kau rasa pasrah je pada takdir. kau biarkan saje takdir yg tentukan destiny korang walaupun hati korang sumpah tersiat. you distanced yourselves from each other, on reason yg korang nak tanamkan rasa benci dlm diri korang but the moment of truth is, korang sebenarnya berharap yg korang berdua menjalani hubungan tu mcm biasa, macam dulu. berjoli katak malam malam kat chow kit tengok mat rempit and belen, share snack plate makan berdua, baring kat kfc sambil selfie depan webcam, berlaga kepala dekat eskalator time square, acah acah tiger dance dalam ktm. you know, do things that makes you happy, makes you alive, makes you, the real you. orang yg sayangkan kau, who loves you before you had everything, who loves you for simply being you. who show you sunshine when all you had left is only shadows this one people, who so believe in you that you started to believe in yourself again.
guwa ada sorang ni. that makes me feel that way. dlm byk2 person dlm hidup aku, dia laa aku punya archilles heels, dan juga kekuatan aku. satu satunya insan yg aku tak boleh pandang tepat pada mata, yg guwa jd speechless bila berkata, yg sentiasa buat aku rasa hidup dlm ertikata sebenar. no hypocritsy, selfless, immense. even buat benda simple dgn dia, melepak dkt mamak minum milo ais and makan roti telur, aku rasa, bahagia sgt2. dia satu satunya orang yg boleh buat my heart sings when i'm with him.
aku sendiri sebenarnya tak faham dgn relationship ni. cuma aku harap, ia takkan berakhir. aku sendir pun takley nak name what type of relationship that we had at this time. yg penting, apa yg aku rasa, saya sayang awak bagai nak gila. i thought i already removed you in my life, tapi ekceli, tolak semua ego dan super ego aku, kau adalah id aku. dan kaulah kunci id aku. let us be honest. aku berkawan dgn ramai org. but sebenarnya org yg terpilih rapat dgn aku, mesti ada karekteristik kau here and there. mata, cara jalan, rambut, the way he smiles, suara, etc etc.
aku taktaw apa rasa kau pada aku, tp apa yg aku rasa pd kau is, you makes me happy beyond everything and anything. you makes me feel alive. dengan kau, aku boleh jadi Fara, yg suka pakai skinny dgn shirt dan sneakers. yg suka lawan cakap, yg suka tergolek terbalik dlm ktm, yg mulut murai and forever suka mendera kau. haha. dgn kau adalah saat aku tak hipokrit, tak cuba berlakon utk jadi org lain. aku tak payah ubah apa apa pun dgn kau.takpayah nakpakai dress, nak ckp slow slow bagai. haha. awak stu je manusia yg boleh buat sy bercakap dlm tone menjerit. excited nye pasal.
awak, i'm so attached to you, sub-consciously. yes, saya ada lima golden rules of buaya-ism. camne nak repel people. golden rules yg selama ni sy praktis as defence mechanism sy supaya sy tak attach emotionally dgn sesiapa. tp dgn awk, my golden rules is rubbish. because here, deepest part of my heart, you're already tattooed there. sy jd buaya, ramai crush here and there, semata mata sbb nak fulfill gap yg awk tinggalkan dlm sini. i tried years after years to replace you, jd org lain, but you still there. irreplaceable.
bila jadi buaya, kenal macam macam jenis orang, sy jd lost dgn golden rules yg sy cipta sendiri. sy jadi taktaw apa yg sy nak. oh that guy there, comel. ada iras awk pd rambut. oh that dude here,wow mata sepet like you. nampak tak sy da letakkan awk as characteristic dm sy berkawan dgn org?
i've put sentimental value on people. and that value is you. and here i am. lost. mencari awak. menidakkan awak. i want you, but i'm not gonna say that i want you.cause i fear that you will reject me. again and again. yes, ni perasaan paling bangang dan celaka sekali. my golden rules is destroying me. aku lost sbb banyak sgt deny attachment aku pd kau.
haha. padan muka aku. losing you, losing myself, jd buaya tanpa arah tuju. greed is good. but it is you that i want but can't get. haha. sy sayang awak bagai nak gila. then, now always. did you feel the same about me?
"now tell me, kita berdua ni sama je kan? kita berdua tak tahu apa yg kita nak,"
"hmm, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. running at the same old ground, and what have we found? same old fear."
kau nak. dia nak. tapi kau dan dia takut utk ambil peluang. takut pd circumstances yg mendatang. arghh ni adalah perasaan paling celaka pernah aku rasa setakat ini.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
notes of nonsense #125: human
assalammualaikum. *tiup habuk* lama gila kot rasanya tak hapdet belog sampah ni dengan sampah baru ye dak? muehehe. busy meneruskan hidup. busy survive. pehh ayat taknak drama kan.
okaylah. guwa menaip ni ponn sebab arini kat tempat kerja tak busy, tak banyak benda dan order boleh dibuat. guwa siap berjogging dalam opis, makan bekpes, buat nestum entah berapa round sampai naik kembung perut ni. tak jugak ada kerja. eh, btw guwa sekarang wanita berkerjaya anggun bergaya chuols. haha. bergaya laa sangat kan. tapi bolehlah. wardrobe guwa dah ditransform dengan jayanya. takde dah skinny jeans lusuh2, tshirt kartu kartun tu sejak menjebakkan diri dalam arus fesyen semasa ni. kah. cuma kekadang datang lazy days tu, terbabas jugak laa guwa datang kerja dengan jeans super lusuh dengan band tees.
live guwa sekarang? well. alhamdulillah. busy tapi guwa rasa bahagia. even banyak jugak perkara sedih berlaku akhir akhir ni. like, pre mid-life crisis - kena tinggal dengan bestfren, masalah kerja, masalah study. kadang kadang guwa rasa nak give up pun ada, rasa macam nak jalan kaki, stop kat tengah jejantas seksyen 7 tu pastu terjun atas lori kontena, bajet macam Angelina Jolie dalam citer Wanted. haha. kalau tak kuat iman, kalau tak ingat dekat Ma dan Pa, guwa rasa gila jugak guwa sensorang kat sini. dala sekarang tengah cuti Gawai. student semua almost all balik kecuali guwa. sedih tak sedih tak? nasib baik ada Khun dengan Jeb, monyet merah yang guwa angkat drp Encik Nik. guwa tengah berfikir fikir lagi nak bela pet dalam bilik. maybe sugar glider ataupun hamster since semalam masa otw balik kerja, guwa nampak ada kedai jual pet dah bukak kat tepi Giant tu. hehe.
berbalik kepada apam balik, tujuan guwa bukak balik belog ni is to dedicate something to someone. yelah, belog guwa ni kan banyak buat dedikasi kasih sayang sejak zaman letusan Big Bang lagi. kah.
"i hope, our relationship will be better after this. saya bekerja, awak pun bekerja. saya nak juggle between kerja and belajar. so saya minta maaf sekiranya saya dah tak dapat dengan awak selalu, tak dapat nak mesej, nak whatsapp semua. keluar pun dah jarang. not like i'm lacking passion or what not. saya cuma, sibuk dan penat. i trust you. i trust you to take this well. kita sama sama dah besar. biarlah hubungan kita ni lebih matang. saya tahu limit saya, dan saya harap, awak begitu juga. hanya Allah sebaik baik penjaga. ingat Allah, jangan lupa baca Al Quran yang saya hadiahkan dulu tu. saya tahu murah tapi, bukan kena bayar pun kan kalau appreciate hadiah tu. dapat pahala lagi. hehe. may Allah bless us and our family too. may Allah ease our path. if tak ease pun, biarlah Dia jadikan kita cukup kuat untuk menghadapi dugaanNya. Amin. much love, bubu Arissa"
ahh guwa dah start busy balik. so bye. tata. see you next time. :*
okaylah. guwa menaip ni ponn sebab arini kat tempat kerja tak busy, tak banyak benda dan order boleh dibuat. guwa siap berjogging dalam opis, makan bekpes, buat nestum entah berapa round sampai naik kembung perut ni. tak jugak ada kerja. eh, btw guwa sekarang wanita berkerjaya anggun bergaya chuols. haha. bergaya laa sangat kan. tapi bolehlah. wardrobe guwa dah ditransform dengan jayanya. takde dah skinny jeans lusuh2, tshirt kartu kartun tu sejak menjebakkan diri dalam arus fesyen semasa ni. kah. cuma kekadang datang lazy days tu, terbabas jugak laa guwa datang kerja dengan jeans super lusuh dengan band tees.
live guwa sekarang? well. alhamdulillah. busy tapi guwa rasa bahagia. even banyak jugak perkara sedih berlaku akhir akhir ni. like, pre mid-life crisis - kena tinggal dengan bestfren, masalah kerja, masalah study. kadang kadang guwa rasa nak give up pun ada, rasa macam nak jalan kaki, stop kat tengah jejantas seksyen 7 tu pastu terjun atas lori kontena, bajet macam Angelina Jolie dalam citer Wanted. haha. kalau tak kuat iman, kalau tak ingat dekat Ma dan Pa, guwa rasa gila jugak guwa sensorang kat sini. dala sekarang tengah cuti Gawai. student semua almost all balik kecuali guwa. sedih tak sedih tak? nasib baik ada Khun dengan Jeb, monyet merah yang guwa angkat drp Encik Nik. guwa tengah berfikir fikir lagi nak bela pet dalam bilik. maybe sugar glider ataupun hamster since semalam masa otw balik kerja, guwa nampak ada kedai jual pet dah bukak kat tepi Giant tu. hehe.
berbalik kepada apam balik, tujuan guwa bukak balik belog ni is to dedicate something to someone. yelah, belog guwa ni kan banyak buat dedikasi kasih sayang sejak zaman letusan Big Bang lagi. kah.
"i hope, our relationship will be better after this. saya bekerja, awak pun bekerja. saya nak juggle between kerja and belajar. so saya minta maaf sekiranya saya dah tak dapat dengan awak selalu, tak dapat nak mesej, nak whatsapp semua. keluar pun dah jarang. not like i'm lacking passion or what not. saya cuma, sibuk dan penat. i trust you. i trust you to take this well. kita sama sama dah besar. biarlah hubungan kita ni lebih matang. saya tahu limit saya, dan saya harap, awak begitu juga. hanya Allah sebaik baik penjaga. ingat Allah, jangan lupa baca Al Quran yang saya hadiahkan dulu tu. saya tahu murah tapi, bukan kena bayar pun kan kalau appreciate hadiah tu. dapat pahala lagi. hehe. may Allah bless us and our family too. may Allah ease our path. if tak ease pun, biarlah Dia jadikan kita cukup kuat untuk menghadapi dugaanNya. Amin. much love, bubu Arissa"
ahh guwa dah start busy balik. so bye. tata. see you next time. :*
Friday, January 10, 2014
notes of nonsense #124: history of a drama princess with her skincare
assalam. oke, lama gila rasa private belog. tak rasa nak menulis ekceli. and taknak stalkers tertunggu tunggu bila guwa nak write post. sebab tu pivate blog. tapi since end of sem is around the corner and fact that now i'm having final exams, which is i'm not having classes and nak mengurangkan kebosanan asek nak baca buku and study (*study ke?), terlintas laa pulak nak buat timeline of my history with skincare. ala ala product review jugak laa. takde gambar, sebab malas nak transfer pictures dari google nor henfon. :P
1. Safi Skincare Range - first cleanser guwa is Safi Balqis. the one that for whitening tuu. pernah try whole range of Safi Gamat, Safi Aloe Vera. semua Safi laa. start pakai masa Form 1 (*kott?). sebab mama yang introduce since start masuk high school, muka guwa berminyak gila macam kuali roti canai. and even can masak roti canai pakai minyak kat muka guwa ni haa. (*ayat taknak kalah. gebang itu perlu). antara yang terlama guwa pakai. dari form 1, stop sekejap time form 4, pastu sambung balik until degree sem 1. which is until i'm 19 years old. so far, oke je. decent cleanser. tak buat muka berminyak, tak rasa tegang, tak rasa drying ponn lepas basuh. tapi discontinue use masa sem 2 degree sebab kulit muka rasa panas and jerawat tumbuh macam pokok senduduk. sebab kulit rosak i guess. sem 2 da start kawad kaki and overdose of sun exposure. so the product when applied did stung my face, and resulted in more damages and breakouts. maybe Safi did cancels my sunblock. tu yang muka jadi teruk. mostly because tak sesuai dengan keadaan kulit guwa masa tu. and so, stop pakai and bermula laa perjalanan mencari "The Ultimate Cleanser".
2. Himalaya Neem Face Wash - oke, setakat guwa hidup berapa tahun kat atas planet bumi ni, guwa rasa ni antara cleanser yang terlama guwa pakai after Safi. guwa pakai masa Form 4. used 1 large tube of its cleanser untuk combat acne. before this, takde pimples sangat. just oily skin and Safi can handle oiliness quite well. but masa form 4, maybe stress duduk kat class pure science, learning those bios and chemy and darn physics, jerawat naik mengganas macam raksasa gorgon. gantung kejap Safi, and pakai Himalaya. well, quite good. in few days (*around 5 days), can see the differences already. jerawat da start turun, and kulit jadi sejuk (* ohh btw, i had this kulit rasa macam panas and tingly when i had pimples or acnes), so bila pakai Himalaya, kulit rasa sejuk je. this was during form 4 laa. sekarang guwa still pakai Himalaya. same range, same cleanser. but i just found out that the effectiveness changes. or it just me? same cleanser but da tak berapa nak berkesan. used for long time but why did i feel my pimples and my scars are getting visible? dulu rasa macam pimple scar tak berapa nak visible, but nowadays, pergi bilik member, they just 'faa, muka kau kenapa? macam makin teruk je?'. and i was ultimately speechless. sebab rasanya sem ni antara sem yang paling banyak guwa menjga kulit guwa. berapa round guwa beli lotion sebab nak jaga kulit. haha. and, mostly visible aftermath effects are, kulit guwa jadi sensitive gila beby, flushed face (*merah around the blush spot), scarring more visible, skin became taut and dry. the blush effects tuu guwa tak kisah sangat. sebab nampak cam comel laa pulak kulit pink pink beby gittew. (*comel? sila muntah pelangi sekarang). tapi what matter most is that shitty sensitive dry facial skin. which is teruk. bayangkan kau kulit kering, but kau tak boleh buat pape, not even tampal moisturizer sebab kulit akan react aggressively. not even can change to other cleanser, sebab kulit akan react and brokeout. bukan takat cleanser je, memang da tak boleh buat pape un. tak boleh pakai moisturizer, tak ley pakai bedak sejuk, tak ley pakai seaweed mask, takley nak spray thermal water etc. just boleh tepek bedak semata mata untuk pergi kuliah. it hurts my pride and face so much. TT_TT (*in fact, guwa even bagi separuh barang mekap guwa kat mama. hadn't have too much makeups though. only some eyeliners, powder cake and some bb creams, rarely used). lepas sensitif skin tragedy tuu, guwa still tak tukar lagi. sebab takde idea nak tukar brand apa, and fear of getting more sensitive if i change product. lagiponn, a few weeks after that tragedy, guwa pergi farmasi and beli Evening Primrose Oil capsule. so sensitivity and flare ups tuu significantly berkurang and guwa happy. sekarang still stick lagi dengan Himalaya, but reading reviews and getting ready to toss it up. ohh yes, this cleanser is gel-type, so it doesn't foam much. i did double rinse when i did use BB cream beforehand, just to feel this 'squeaky clean' feel. just to ensure traces of BB didn't clogged up my pores and broke my skin later.
3. Spray Type Mist - my first spray will be Bio Essence Miracle Bio Water. love it to the max! sangat berkesan. refreshing, set up my powder, reduce shine and makes my panda eyes less visible. since guwa pakai BB cream often (*mostly when i'm out having classes and tutors and replacement classes, depending on my mood), sometime tertepek banyak pulak BB creams nye. so end up having this fake and cakey face. so, nak set up balik BB tuu, guwa akan spray Bio Water ni. sekejap je, ka-ching! dewy faces! and guwa pakai lepas berjemur matahari. and malam malam kalau malas nak letak seaweed mask, guwa spray je benda ni. and kadang kadang kalau malas, spray, tepek powder johnson tu pastu jalan. convenient an? just spray and go. sebabkan terlampau konvinien tulaa benda ni cepat habis. tempting dohh. even muka tak berminyak ponn rasa nak spray je sebab nak rasa sejuk and glowing dewy effects tu. sekarang, benda ni da 3 minggu habis, takde duit nak beli. sobs. and the sad fact is, guwa gamble beli SimplySiti White & Detox Mist Toner over this one when i had money to buy it. and i regret for not buying Miracle Water. haritu, keluar beli stok makanan dekat SACC. then masuk Watson. niat memang nak beli Miracle Water but then, tengok shelf alamak.. RM23.90. takde offer. first buy dulu which was 3 months back then, bought it at RM19.90 dekat Fahrenheit. masa tuu keluar dengan Encik Ehem. tapi rasa macam mahal je dekat SACC ni an. pastu terpandang pulak SimplySiti ni. packaging cantik, pink gittew, besaw murah pulak (*100ml for Rm19). guwa ponn ka-ching, beli and pakai. and, i'm not into it. menyesal sungguh. the mist is kinda sticky on my face, it didn't make my skin dewy nor refresh it. all i felt is oiliness and stickiness. maybe sebab content dia differ with my other products kott. da terbiasa pakai thermal water, tetiba spray mist yang contains all niacinamide, green tea, honey tuu, so kulit guwa rasa berat. and i felt unclean. and zits starts to popped out, again. during this time, i went on vacation with my family around area Pangkor and Cameron Highland. cuaca agak sejuk and banyak exposed to aircond. spray this mist, but still went sticky and face went shiny all over like sambal nasi lemak terlebih minyak. don't like it and not going to repurchase it. but still, i favor SimplySiti product. just this range, doesn't suit me. better opt for the old thermal water kott.
4. Loreal Perfect White Milky Cleanser - best. used 2 tubes of this. ohh first time beli masa kat Giant seksyen 7, masa tu keluar makan dengan Ehem. singgah guardian and nampak product ni on sale. since cleanser ponn da habis, and nak cepat, rembat jelaa mende alah ni. malas nak cari mana Himalaya. ohh yes, its a foaming cleanser but i wonder, ni lagi cepat habis dari my Himalaya gel cleanser. sebab tu sempat guna sampai 2 tube. applied too much kott? loreal is okay, feel squeaky clean, removes make ups, but since after my internship end, acne naik and i revert back to Himalaya. so far pakai tak rasa putih ponn. mungkin kena pakai whole range untuk nampak putih kott. tapi orait je. decent cleaser. cleans well. tak trigger jerawat sedia ada. :P
5. Cetaphil - mother of all cleanser kott. baca review, banyak gila yang points pros of this holy cleanser. (*read my words: holy). takde laa page yang tak cakap cetaphil ni tak bagus. kalau ada ponn, satu atau dua blog yang contest cakap Cetaphil ni dangerous. tapi backed up by doctors comments and more than few Cetaphil-fags. ohh and if you notice, 2012 blogpost guwa ponn, guwa ada review jugak pasal cetaphil ni. dulu ada pakai untuk 1 bottle, pastu stop sebab gatal tangan nak revert balik ke Himalaya. so far, takde masalah dengan Cetaphil. kulit guwa tak sensitif lepas pakai, tak kering, tak oily, jerawat lessens. only the price is a lil pricey for a student like me, and the package! so big. not jamban- and travel-friendly. botol lagi besar dari bakul barang mandi itself. =.= tu antara reason kenapa guwa give up Cetaphil.
sekarang ni, since kulit guwa da kurang sensitif due to the fact that i consumed skin supplement (*primrose capsule), guwa ingat nak tukar cleanser. sebab current cleanser ni macam tak berapa nak menjadi da. tadi baca review pasal Cetaphil. ingat nak revert balik kepada Cetaphil sebab guwa ponn memang ada sebotol besaw lagi Cetaphil kat bilik. nak bagi orang rasa macam rugi sebab beli mahal. hehe. tapi takpe, research dulu Cetaphil ni. sebab da taknak da gamble kulit muka guwa. i'm now 22, and da tak mampu da nak generate kulit dengan cepat as i was during my prim 18 years old. err, my 2 cents, panjang pulak guwa tulis ni. kbai.
1. Safi Skincare Range - first cleanser guwa is Safi Balqis. the one that for whitening tuu. pernah try whole range of Safi Gamat, Safi Aloe Vera. semua Safi laa. start pakai masa Form 1 (*kott?). sebab mama yang introduce since start masuk high school, muka guwa berminyak gila macam kuali roti canai. and even can masak roti canai pakai minyak kat muka guwa ni haa. (*ayat taknak kalah. gebang itu perlu). antara yang terlama guwa pakai. dari form 1, stop sekejap time form 4, pastu sambung balik until degree sem 1. which is until i'm 19 years old. so far, oke je. decent cleanser. tak buat muka berminyak, tak rasa tegang, tak rasa drying ponn lepas basuh. tapi discontinue use masa sem 2 degree sebab kulit muka rasa panas and jerawat tumbuh macam pokok senduduk. sebab kulit rosak i guess. sem 2 da start kawad kaki and overdose of sun exposure. so the product when applied did stung my face, and resulted in more damages and breakouts. maybe Safi did cancels my sunblock. tu yang muka jadi teruk. mostly because tak sesuai dengan keadaan kulit guwa masa tu. and so, stop pakai and bermula laa perjalanan mencari "The Ultimate Cleanser".
2. Himalaya Neem Face Wash - oke, setakat guwa hidup berapa tahun kat atas planet bumi ni, guwa rasa ni antara cleanser yang terlama guwa pakai after Safi. guwa pakai masa Form 4. used 1 large tube of its cleanser untuk combat acne. before this, takde pimples sangat. just oily skin and Safi can handle oiliness quite well. but masa form 4, maybe stress duduk kat class pure science, learning those bios and chemy and darn physics, jerawat naik mengganas macam raksasa gorgon. gantung kejap Safi, and pakai Himalaya. well, quite good. in few days (*around 5 days), can see the differences already. jerawat da start turun, and kulit jadi sejuk (* ohh btw, i had this kulit rasa macam panas and tingly when i had pimples or acnes), so bila pakai Himalaya, kulit rasa sejuk je. this was during form 4 laa. sekarang guwa still pakai Himalaya. same range, same cleanser. but i just found out that the effectiveness changes. or it just me? same cleanser but da tak berapa nak berkesan. used for long time but why did i feel my pimples and my scars are getting visible? dulu rasa macam pimple scar tak berapa nak visible, but nowadays, pergi bilik member, they just 'faa, muka kau kenapa? macam makin teruk je?'. and i was ultimately speechless. sebab rasanya sem ni antara sem yang paling banyak guwa menjga kulit guwa. berapa round guwa beli lotion sebab nak jaga kulit. haha. and, mostly visible aftermath effects are, kulit guwa jadi sensitive gila beby, flushed face (*merah around the blush spot), scarring more visible, skin became taut and dry. the blush effects tuu guwa tak kisah sangat. sebab nampak cam comel laa pulak kulit pink pink beby gittew. (*comel? sila muntah pelangi sekarang). tapi what matter most is that shitty sensitive dry facial skin. which is teruk. bayangkan kau kulit kering, but kau tak boleh buat pape, not even tampal moisturizer sebab kulit akan react aggressively. not even can change to other cleanser, sebab kulit akan react and brokeout. bukan takat cleanser je, memang da tak boleh buat pape un. tak boleh pakai moisturizer, tak ley pakai bedak sejuk, tak ley pakai seaweed mask, takley nak spray thermal water etc. just boleh tepek bedak semata mata untuk pergi kuliah. it hurts my pride and face so much. TT_TT (*in fact, guwa even bagi separuh barang mekap guwa kat mama. hadn't have too much makeups though. only some eyeliners, powder cake and some bb creams, rarely used). lepas sensitif skin tragedy tuu, guwa still tak tukar lagi. sebab takde idea nak tukar brand apa, and fear of getting more sensitive if i change product. lagiponn, a few weeks after that tragedy, guwa pergi farmasi and beli Evening Primrose Oil capsule. so sensitivity and flare ups tuu significantly berkurang and guwa happy. sekarang still stick lagi dengan Himalaya, but reading reviews and getting ready to toss it up. ohh yes, this cleanser is gel-type, so it doesn't foam much. i did double rinse when i did use BB cream beforehand, just to feel this 'squeaky clean' feel. just to ensure traces of BB didn't clogged up my pores and broke my skin later.
3. Spray Type Mist - my first spray will be Bio Essence Miracle Bio Water. love it to the max! sangat berkesan. refreshing, set up my powder, reduce shine and makes my panda eyes less visible. since guwa pakai BB cream often (*mostly when i'm out having classes and tutors and replacement classes, depending on my mood), sometime tertepek banyak pulak BB creams nye. so end up having this fake and cakey face. so, nak set up balik BB tuu, guwa akan spray Bio Water ni. sekejap je, ka-ching! dewy faces! and guwa pakai lepas berjemur matahari. and malam malam kalau malas nak letak seaweed mask, guwa spray je benda ni. and kadang kadang kalau malas, spray, tepek powder johnson tu pastu jalan. convenient an? just spray and go. sebabkan terlampau konvinien tulaa benda ni cepat habis. tempting dohh. even muka tak berminyak ponn rasa nak spray je sebab nak rasa sejuk and glowing dewy effects tu. sekarang, benda ni da 3 minggu habis, takde duit nak beli. sobs. and the sad fact is, guwa gamble beli SimplySiti White & Detox Mist Toner over this one when i had money to buy it. and i regret for not buying Miracle Water. haritu, keluar beli stok makanan dekat SACC. then masuk Watson. niat memang nak beli Miracle Water but then, tengok shelf alamak.. RM23.90. takde offer. first buy dulu which was 3 months back then, bought it at RM19.90 dekat Fahrenheit. masa tuu keluar dengan Encik Ehem. tapi rasa macam mahal je dekat SACC ni an. pastu terpandang pulak SimplySiti ni. packaging cantik, pink gittew, besaw murah pulak (*100ml for Rm19). guwa ponn ka-ching, beli and pakai. and, i'm not into it. menyesal sungguh. the mist is kinda sticky on my face, it didn't make my skin dewy nor refresh it. all i felt is oiliness and stickiness. maybe sebab content dia differ with my other products kott. da terbiasa pakai thermal water, tetiba spray mist yang contains all niacinamide, green tea, honey tuu, so kulit guwa rasa berat. and i felt unclean. and zits starts to popped out, again. during this time, i went on vacation with my family around area Pangkor and Cameron Highland. cuaca agak sejuk and banyak exposed to aircond. spray this mist, but still went sticky and face went shiny all over like sambal nasi lemak terlebih minyak. don't like it and not going to repurchase it. but still, i favor SimplySiti product. just this range, doesn't suit me. better opt for the old thermal water kott.
4. Loreal Perfect White Milky Cleanser - best. used 2 tubes of this. ohh first time beli masa kat Giant seksyen 7, masa tu keluar makan dengan Ehem. singgah guardian and nampak product ni on sale. since cleanser ponn da habis, and nak cepat, rembat jelaa mende alah ni. malas nak cari mana Himalaya. ohh yes, its a foaming cleanser but i wonder, ni lagi cepat habis dari my Himalaya gel cleanser. sebab tu sempat guna sampai 2 tube. applied too much kott? loreal is okay, feel squeaky clean, removes make ups, but since after my internship end, acne naik and i revert back to Himalaya. so far pakai tak rasa putih ponn. mungkin kena pakai whole range untuk nampak putih kott. tapi orait je. decent cleaser. cleans well. tak trigger jerawat sedia ada. :P
5. Cetaphil - mother of all cleanser kott. baca review, banyak gila yang points pros of this holy cleanser. (*read my words: holy). takde laa page yang tak cakap cetaphil ni tak bagus. kalau ada ponn, satu atau dua blog yang contest cakap Cetaphil ni dangerous. tapi backed up by doctors comments and more than few Cetaphil-fags. ohh and if you notice, 2012 blogpost guwa ponn, guwa ada review jugak pasal cetaphil ni. dulu ada pakai untuk 1 bottle, pastu stop sebab gatal tangan nak revert balik ke Himalaya. so far, takde masalah dengan Cetaphil. kulit guwa tak sensitif lepas pakai, tak kering, tak oily, jerawat lessens. only the price is a lil pricey for a student like me, and the package! so big. not jamban- and travel-friendly. botol lagi besar dari bakul barang mandi itself. =.= tu antara reason kenapa guwa give up Cetaphil.
sekarang ni, since kulit guwa da kurang sensitif due to the fact that i consumed skin supplement (*primrose capsule), guwa ingat nak tukar cleanser. sebab current cleanser ni macam tak berapa nak menjadi da. tadi baca review pasal Cetaphil. ingat nak revert balik kepada Cetaphil sebab guwa ponn memang ada sebotol besaw lagi Cetaphil kat bilik. nak bagi orang rasa macam rugi sebab beli mahal. hehe. tapi takpe, research dulu Cetaphil ni. sebab da taknak da gamble kulit muka guwa. i'm now 22, and da tak mampu da nak generate kulit dengan cepat as i was during my prim 18 years old. err, my 2 cents, panjang pulak guwa tulis ni. kbai.
.jpg) |
| *a gist of me. just if you wonder how do i looked nowadays. and saja nak tunjuk, guwa da hantar FYP. mohon jeles. :P* |
Monday, November 4, 2013
notes of nonsense #123: pesan dari hati seorang drunker
"aurat tuu tolong jaga. once da tutup, tutup betul betul. aku taktaw camne nak explain dengan cara terbaik, sebab aku sendiri ponn bukan lelaki yang baik yang boleh lead kau. and aku taknak kau jadi macam aku. so, aku nak kau jaga betul betul diri kau. jangan jadi Yahoodee. macam aku. jangan pernah terlintas ponn nak jadi macam aku."
he's not actually a drunker. he never drunk, but he drinks. cocktail, mocktail, tonic water and cola, rum, gin, jolly shandy, wine. anything. hardcore clubber. still he gave the best advice ever. and the sad fact is, he's my bestfriend that i failed to change.
he's not actually a drunker. he never drunk, but he drinks. cocktail, mocktail, tonic water and cola, rum, gin, jolly shandy, wine. anything. hardcore clubber. still he gave the best advice ever. and the sad fact is, he's my bestfriend that i failed to change.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
notes of nonsense #122: things i fear most
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Smile - Charlie Chaplin
but terasa nak letak lagu Liyana Fizi - Light Writing dlm post ni. suits my moods more kott. ekceli, rasa sebak. sebab tengok orang da kahwin. yes, imma silent stalker. guwa kenal dia, tapi guwa tak pernah bercakap dengan dia, tak pernah tegur sapa, but i care. as a friend.
ekceli guwa takut. takut apa yang ada di depan mata guwa, were not meant for me in my future. i'm afraid i will commit to wrong person, submit my time to wrong person, exposing my heart to wrong person. guwa takut. guwa takut apa yang guwa pilih akan menjadi sia sia. sebab guwa tengok depan mata guwa sendiri, couple 8 tahun. planning nak kahwin dengan orang yang dia pilih since 8 tahun lepas but in the end, turned to be, 8 years of their relationship was meaningless. and she married someone else recently.
and ada sorang distant friend guwa (*distant ke? entah. tinggal sama sama but we seldom talk. ohh lupa. guwa kan silent stalker. :P). oke berbalik kepada issue distant friend guwa, she married when we were in sem 3. guwa ingat lagi, masa tu guwa baru balik final exam sem 3 and she's baru nak pergi exam, she's wearing cream colored kebaya which i guessed was her baju nikah, which inai still merah dekat jari and she shone beautifully. like butterfly's wings flicked by sunshine in spring morning after rain. guwa envy, guwa rasa sangat, errr jealous. i'm envy of her happiness. yelah, dia cerita dia kenal suami dia 3 months, and then terus kahwin. sweet aite? but then, recently masa guwa mula mula start sem 5 aritu, faculty mate guwa datang bagitaw, she was ex-classmate of my distant friend that went for that sweet early marriage, yang sebenarnya, that distan tfriend, da cerai. guwa terkejut beruk. beruk ponn tak terkejut macam guwa. err. sumpah speechless. i was like, blur sekejap. idk betul ke tak cerita tuu. and if betul ponn, malas laa komen. bukan guwa terlibat ponn kann. kang jadi berdosa lak.
from that incident then i was like.. why why why? sedangkan dia yang bercinta, berkahwin, da rasa alam rumahtangga ponn boleh bercerai, apa lagi me yang just a puny relationship. orang berkahwin, dilanda bah, terus berpisah. guwa wonder how it will be going with me? mampu ke guwa bertahan? sedangkan bukan ada ties ponn yang bound guwa untuk commit to that one single person that i put so close to my heart?
yes, perancangan Allah adalah yang terbaik. kalau ada jodoh tak kemana, kalau takde jodoh mungkin akan ada yang lebih baik. i know. apa yang guwa risaukan is, how strong i will bounce back to face the reality. i'll fall, hard. and i think it will take time for me to recover back. i'm so scared. what should i do? ottoke..
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Smile - Charlie Chaplin
but terasa nak letak lagu Liyana Fizi - Light Writing dlm post ni. suits my moods more kott. ekceli, rasa sebak. sebab tengok orang da kahwin. yes, imma silent stalker. guwa kenal dia, tapi guwa tak pernah bercakap dengan dia, tak pernah tegur sapa, but i care. as a friend.
ekceli guwa takut. takut apa yang ada di depan mata guwa, were not meant for me in my future. i'm afraid i will commit to wrong person, submit my time to wrong person, exposing my heart to wrong person. guwa takut. guwa takut apa yang guwa pilih akan menjadi sia sia. sebab guwa tengok depan mata guwa sendiri, couple 8 tahun. planning nak kahwin dengan orang yang dia pilih since 8 tahun lepas but in the end, turned to be, 8 years of their relationship was meaningless. and she married someone else recently.
and ada sorang distant friend guwa (*distant ke? entah. tinggal sama sama but we seldom talk. ohh lupa. guwa kan silent stalker. :P). oke berbalik kepada issue distant friend guwa, she married when we were in sem 3. guwa ingat lagi, masa tu guwa baru balik final exam sem 3 and she's baru nak pergi exam, she's wearing cream colored kebaya which i guessed was her baju nikah, which inai still merah dekat jari and she shone beautifully. like butterfly's wings flicked by sunshine in spring morning after rain. guwa envy, guwa rasa sangat, errr jealous. i'm envy of her happiness. yelah, dia cerita dia kenal suami dia 3 months, and then terus kahwin. sweet aite? but then, recently masa guwa mula mula start sem 5 aritu, faculty mate guwa datang bagitaw, she was ex-classmate of my distant friend that went for that sweet early marriage, yang sebenarnya, that distan tfriend, da cerai. guwa terkejut beruk. beruk ponn tak terkejut macam guwa. err. sumpah speechless. i was like, blur sekejap. idk betul ke tak cerita tuu. and if betul ponn, malas laa komen. bukan guwa terlibat ponn kann. kang jadi berdosa lak.
from that incident then i was like.. why why why? sedangkan dia yang bercinta, berkahwin, da rasa alam rumahtangga ponn boleh bercerai, apa lagi me yang just a puny relationship. orang berkahwin, dilanda bah, terus berpisah. guwa wonder how it will be going with me? mampu ke guwa bertahan? sedangkan bukan ada ties ponn yang bound guwa untuk commit to that one single person that i put so close to my heart?
yes, perancangan Allah adalah yang terbaik. kalau ada jodoh tak kemana, kalau takde jodoh mungkin akan ada yang lebih baik. i know. apa yang guwa risaukan is, how strong i will bounce back to face the reality. i'll fall, hard. and i think it will take time for me to recover back. i'm so scared. what should i do? ottoke..
Sunday, October 27, 2013
notes of nonsense #121: tired and retired
penat. physically and mentally. heartaches. heartbroken. frustrated. dissappointed. bila terlalu kisah, orang tak suka. bila buat tak kisah, ponn orang tak suka. bila buat buat biasa ponn orang tak suka. macam mana lagi guwa nak hidup? tolong bagitaw guwa.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
notes of nonsense #120: virus bedak sejuk
assalam. tengok title pun da taw an guwa nak membebel apa. opchoii laa pasei bedak sejuk thanakha yang da viral sekarang lepas hot mommy Nora Danish promote an? so guwa ponn tak ketinggalan laa nak rasa tergoda and menjebakkan diri dengan bedak ni.
takde gambar nak tunjuk since guwa pakai fon murah je. siap ada lampu suluh kott kat atas fon tuu. tinggal tak boleh nak transform jadi transformer je. guwa pakai tanaka warna putih, bau jasmine. 1st impression, hmm since it's yang 40g, so me was like, oke, bekas je besaw tapi ekceli, bedak kat dalam tu sikit je. dalam berapa cm je deepness bedak tuu dari lid bekas.
secondly, 1st use. on the day guwa 1st pakai tuu, tengahari. around 2 hours before guwa berangkat pulang ke kampung halaman. so dapat je bedak tuu, guwa terus pakai laa. cara pakai, elok pakai kat singki laa sebab senang ada air mengalir and kalau comot or staining, boleh terus basuh. 1st, lembabkan muka dengan air. guwa pakai lepas mandi and cuci muka semua. basahkan tangan, and colet bedak sapu kat muka. repeat sampai lebam. guwa biasa bawak pakai tidur. oh ye, lupa nak cakap. bau jasmine tuu macam india sikit. guwa tak suggest ah beli bau ni. sakit hidung, menusuk kalbu. eh berbalik kepada apam balik, nak cuci pulak, guwa biasa buat double rinsing sebab bedak ni agak melekat pada kulit and maybe sebab guwa pakai milky cleanser, so kena double rinse kalau nak bagi betul betul bersih dari sisa bedak ni.
err, as result may vary according to individuals, ekceli, guwa tak sesuai kott pakai bedak ni. before bedak ni, guwa memang pakai mask rumpai laut. pakai waktu tidur and kulit guwa, boleh dikatakan agak licin and smooth. but, bila da pakai bedak ni, errrrrr kulit guwa jadi kasar gila and da tak licin. jerawat pun start tumbuh and paling teruk, pores guwa terbuka dengan besar dan banyaknya. before ni guwa memang takde problem pores terbuka ni. and whiteheads tumbuh melata. i've turned to gorgon oredi. siyes, kulit guwa tak sesuai dengan bedak ni. maybe kulit guwa jenis combination dry-oily and sensitif. bedak ni ponn agak drying ekceli. kalau kulit normal or oily sesuai maybe. guwa tengok jugak review before beli, semua orang with different skin types, semua kata bedak ni oke. 1st pakai da lembut tapi maybe guwa yang alah pada bahan bedak ni, so my skin reacts differently. 1st pakai, pores da terbukak and kulit jadi kasar and super kering.
so da jadi gorgon camtu, guwa ponn sedih laa. semalam time keluar beli makanan berbuka, orang bazar tuu siap tanya kenapa muka guwa camni. dari jauh nampak oke cuba bila da datang dekat, tengok in high definition, bapak teruk kott. menggerutu. TT_____TT
so, guwa ponn pergi laa guardian beli cleanser baru yang ada hyloronic acid and toner untuk kecikkan balik pores kat muka guwa ni and start balik pakai mask rumpai laut. wuwuu.. sedih.
readers semua kalau yang memang terlintas nak beli tuu, jangan laa pulak rasa turned off bila guwa cakap camni. results vary according to individuals kann. maybe guwa pakai tak elok, maybe korang pakai pulak elok and gebu je muka. guwa tengok ponn, rata rata yang pakai cakap bedak ni elok, ada tuu kulit memang licin lepas pakai. guwa je special case. and to be safe, better beli yang kecik dulu. kalau tak sesuai pakai, tak rasa menyesal parok sangat. boleh je let go kat sesapa dalam 3, 4 hengget.
huu.. lepas ni memang taknak da laa guwa try macam macam. stick jelaa kat rumpai laut ni. kalau kulit da sensitif tuu, stay jelaa diam diam kat rumah sambil menempek rumpai laut ye cik faraa. sobs sobs. :'(
P/S: baru nak try bedak Kryolan. tapi since muka da teruk macam raksasa gorgon, terpaksalah tunggu kulit muka sembuh dulu and licin balik. :'(
takde gambar nak tunjuk since guwa pakai fon murah je. siap ada lampu suluh kott kat atas fon tuu. tinggal tak boleh nak transform jadi transformer je. guwa pakai tanaka warna putih, bau jasmine. 1st impression, hmm since it's yang 40g, so me was like, oke, bekas je besaw tapi ekceli, bedak kat dalam tu sikit je. dalam berapa cm je deepness bedak tuu dari lid bekas.
secondly, 1st use. on the day guwa 1st pakai tuu, tengahari. around 2 hours before guwa berangkat pulang ke kampung halaman. so dapat je bedak tuu, guwa terus pakai laa. cara pakai, elok pakai kat singki laa sebab senang ada air mengalir and kalau comot or staining, boleh terus basuh. 1st, lembabkan muka dengan air. guwa pakai lepas mandi and cuci muka semua. basahkan tangan, and colet bedak sapu kat muka. repeat sampai lebam. guwa biasa bawak pakai tidur. oh ye, lupa nak cakap. bau jasmine tuu macam india sikit. guwa tak suggest ah beli bau ni. sakit hidung, menusuk kalbu. eh berbalik kepada apam balik, nak cuci pulak, guwa biasa buat double rinsing sebab bedak ni agak melekat pada kulit and maybe sebab guwa pakai milky cleanser, so kena double rinse kalau nak bagi betul betul bersih dari sisa bedak ni.
err, as result may vary according to individuals, ekceli, guwa tak sesuai kott pakai bedak ni. before bedak ni, guwa memang pakai mask rumpai laut. pakai waktu tidur and kulit guwa, boleh dikatakan agak licin and smooth. but, bila da pakai bedak ni, errrrrr kulit guwa jadi kasar gila and da tak licin. jerawat pun start tumbuh and paling teruk, pores guwa terbuka dengan besar dan banyaknya. before ni guwa memang takde problem pores terbuka ni. and whiteheads tumbuh melata. i've turned to gorgon oredi. siyes, kulit guwa tak sesuai dengan bedak ni. maybe kulit guwa jenis combination dry-oily and sensitif. bedak ni ponn agak drying ekceli. kalau kulit normal or oily sesuai maybe. guwa tengok jugak review before beli, semua orang with different skin types, semua kata bedak ni oke. 1st pakai da lembut tapi maybe guwa yang alah pada bahan bedak ni, so my skin reacts differently. 1st pakai, pores da terbukak and kulit jadi kasar and super kering.
so da jadi gorgon camtu, guwa ponn sedih laa. semalam time keluar beli makanan berbuka, orang bazar tuu siap tanya kenapa muka guwa camni. dari jauh nampak oke cuba bila da datang dekat, tengok in high definition, bapak teruk kott. menggerutu. TT_____TT
so, guwa ponn pergi laa guardian beli cleanser baru yang ada hyloronic acid and toner untuk kecikkan balik pores kat muka guwa ni and start balik pakai mask rumpai laut. wuwuu.. sedih.
readers semua kalau yang memang terlintas nak beli tuu, jangan laa pulak rasa turned off bila guwa cakap camni. results vary according to individuals kann. maybe guwa pakai tak elok, maybe korang pakai pulak elok and gebu je muka. guwa tengok ponn, rata rata yang pakai cakap bedak ni elok, ada tuu kulit memang licin lepas pakai. guwa je special case. and to be safe, better beli yang kecik dulu. kalau tak sesuai pakai, tak rasa menyesal parok sangat. boleh je let go kat sesapa dalam 3, 4 hengget.
huu.. lepas ni memang taknak da laa guwa try macam macam. stick jelaa kat rumpai laut ni. kalau kulit da sensitif tuu, stay jelaa diam diam kat rumah sambil menempek rumpai laut ye cik faraa. sobs sobs. :'(
P/S: baru nak try bedak Kryolan. tapi since muka da teruk macam raksasa gorgon, terpaksalah tunggu kulit muka sembuh dulu and licin balik. :'(
Saturday, July 13, 2013
notes of nonsense #119: persediaan sebelum kawad
assalam stalkers. seperti mana yang da guwa kabor sejak turun temurun lagi, ekceli, guwa ni student unit uniform. SiSPA to be exact. or stand for Siswa Siswi Pertahanan Awam under Jabatan Pertahanan Awam (JPAM). tak perlu laa nak cerita pasal sejarah JPAM laa an. sebab ni belog guwa, so kalau korang nak taw pasei sejarah JPAM, korang boleh laa Google terus belog JPAM ye dak. :P
life as student unit uniform? well, hectic. kadang kadang tension. sebab nak kena fokus faculty, kena fokus tugas sebagai anggota uniform lagi an. but, overall, fun overcomes hecticness. memang busy and tension, but bagi guwa, i worked well under pressure. bila kita pressure, baru kerja jalan. baru laa kita discover yang diri kita ni capable of multitasking. mula mula memang agak gelabah jugak laa, and honestly, on my part, rasa nak mencarut dan give up tuu sangat tinggi. nak nak bila hujung sem, coursework berlambak and at same time, kena kejar rollcall, kena pergi kursus, kena jaga anak buah. tapi bila guwa duduk sensorang, guwa pikir balik, kalau guwa tak masuk SiSPA ni, guwa tak sampai tahap ni.
dalam uniform ni, kita baru kenal ramai orang dari fakulti lain lain. macam guwa, kalau guwa tak join SISPA, rasanya guwa maintain jelaa duduk dalam tempurung budak Law. duhh boring. bila bercakap, mesti isu politik. paling tak, lacunae in law. takpun, law kat negara lain. why tak apply kat Mesia etc etc. dalam uniform gak, kita dapat experience and learn something new. bukan something, many things. guwa dapat berkayak, pergi naik gunung, ascending and repelling, berkawad (*kawad best ooo nak nak bila belajar new moves eg: kawad tongkat, formasi*), survival, macam macam ah. best sebenarnya walaupun kadang kadang tuu cuti sem jadi pendek or tak dapat balik cuti or as always, risau assignments bertimbun.
since guwa ponn nak pergi kursus Isnin ni, kat ALPHA Bangi untuk kursus PTB (*pegawai tak bertauliah) and kursus metodologi kejurulatihan untuk completekan silibus guwa before dapat tauliah jadi Lt. M (PA) Faraa Chan bulan Ogos ni, guwa list down laa essentials before nak pergi kursus. mostly preparations untuk sepam dua aktiviti kawad.
P/S: even dimaklumkan since bulan puasa, kawad akan buat malam. still, tak rela nak balik Shah Alam and pergi kursus. guwa rasa masih lagi nak berpuasa sambil bernaung bawah ketiak mak guwa. wuwuuu.. TT___TT
life as student unit uniform? well, hectic. kadang kadang tension. sebab nak kena fokus faculty, kena fokus tugas sebagai anggota uniform lagi an. but, overall, fun overcomes hecticness. memang busy and tension, but bagi guwa, i worked well under pressure. bila kita pressure, baru kerja jalan. baru laa kita discover yang diri kita ni capable of multitasking. mula mula memang agak gelabah jugak laa, and honestly, on my part, rasa nak mencarut dan give up tuu sangat tinggi. nak nak bila hujung sem, coursework berlambak and at same time, kena kejar rollcall, kena pergi kursus, kena jaga anak buah. tapi bila guwa duduk sensorang, guwa pikir balik, kalau guwa tak masuk SiSPA ni, guwa tak sampai tahap ni.
dalam uniform ni, kita baru kenal ramai orang dari fakulti lain lain. macam guwa, kalau guwa tak join SISPA, rasanya guwa maintain jelaa duduk dalam tempurung budak Law. duhh boring. bila bercakap, mesti isu politik. paling tak, lacunae in law. takpun, law kat negara lain. why tak apply kat Mesia etc etc. dalam uniform gak, kita dapat experience and learn something new. bukan something, many things. guwa dapat berkayak, pergi naik gunung, ascending and repelling, berkawad (*kawad best ooo nak nak bila belajar new moves eg: kawad tongkat, formasi*), survival, macam macam ah. best sebenarnya walaupun kadang kadang tuu cuti sem jadi pendek or tak dapat balik cuti or as always, risau assignments bertimbun.
since guwa ponn nak pergi kursus Isnin ni, kat ALPHA Bangi untuk kursus PTB (*pegawai tak bertauliah) and kursus metodologi kejurulatihan untuk completekan silibus guwa before dapat tauliah jadi Lt. M (PA) Faraa Chan bulan Ogos ni, guwa list down laa essentials before nak pergi kursus. mostly preparations untuk sepam dua aktiviti kawad.
- calamine lotion - buat preparation kalau kalau melecet, kena gigit nyamuk, allergic reactions, ruam etc. kadang kadang tuu kalau burning kat soles, guwa sapu jugak calamine kat tapak kaki lepas kawad. cooling agent. tapi opchoii laa tak sesuai buat sapu kalau kena cramp. cramp pergi sembur Perskindol laa bang. sapu calamine da kenape. --,--
- aloe vera gel - guwa bese beli yang botol kecik je. sebab memang buat stok untuk travel for kursus. agak penting. untuk sapu kat muka sebelum tidur for purpose of reduce sunburn and pedih kat muka sebab over sweat. guwa kalau sweating banyak sangat, guwa tend to rasa pedih kat misai guwa. so memang simpan je aloe vera gel dalam beg. and emergency tool to substitute as moisturizer. sweating an, so kulit kering. so apply laa banyak sikit since guwa tak bawak moisturizer or collagen mask during kursus untuk kurangkan luggage. sebelum tidur, lepas cuci muka, tepek banyak banyak. then tidur.
- talcum - guwa guna bedak cap Drypers je. untuk mekap dalam masa 2 saat. tabur, gosok dan tepuk kat muka. dan siap. terus sarung uniform and siap sedia berkhidmat. untuk sapu kat kaki before sarung boot untuk reduce kebusukan dan keharaman bau kaki. and sapu before sarung uniform untuk tujuan mengurangkan bau pahit maung ketiak and mengurangkan kegatalan dan ruam akibat berpeluh.
- tumbler - a.k.a botol air. bukan tumblr yang korang dok reblog reblog gambar tu. bukan. penting bawak botol air. since kadang kadang kat kelas nagntuk, nak tunggu break lama lagi, so sambil sambil menyorok kat seat kosong and melentok untuk tidoq, boleh laa togok air dulu.
- minyak angin - guwa suka bawak balm panas. senang, tak melekit. takde purpose yang penting ponn. lepas kawad seldom sakit sakit urat an. so boleh laa sapu. kalau pandai kipas, boleh laa dapatkan urut free dari teman teman se-uniform. guwa lak, memang before tidur suka sapu balm panas kat kaki. so bangun pagi esok, kaki rasa rejuvenate and tak lenguh sangat.
- canvas bag - tak payah besar sangat. enuff kalau canvas bag yang korang bawak pergi Tesco hari sabtu tu. buat isi barang eg: buku nota, pen, botol air, telekung, henfon masa pergi kelas.so takdelaa penuh tangan or susah nak kelek barang barang tiap kali break or nak pergi kelas.
P/S: even dimaklumkan since bulan puasa, kawad akan buat malam. still, tak rela nak balik Shah Alam and pergi kursus. guwa rasa masih lagi nak berpuasa sambil bernaung bawah ketiak mak guwa. wuwuuu.. TT___TT
Thursday, July 11, 2013
notes of nonsense #118: ramadhan
assalammualaikum and salam ramadhan. waktu sekarang da 2333. so, stalkers semua, ampa da puas melantak ke hari ni? guwa diet bhaii. tak berapa nak melantak sangat laa. ecehh. kunun. taktaw guwa jadi hantu kat rumah dok perabih lepat pisang sepiring. huahua.
ramadhan. party of ibadah. so banyakkanlah ibadah ye anak anak. bulan berkat kan. ramadhan senang sikit kott nak jadi starting point nak beramal since syaiton nirrojim semua takde kan. masa nilah nak train nafsu kita. kalau sebulan kita mampu beribadat and kawal nafsu, mesti time bulan lain ponn boleh an. guwa ponn tengah berjinak jinak dok menghafal ayat ayat hafazan. sekarang tengah cuba hafal Al- A'laa. nak buat witir an. so takdelaa just rely on ayat lazim yang pendek pendek or rely on imam je untuk baca. :)
btw, sekarang ni tengah restarin and train nafsu untuk jangan sesuka hati tune in channel AFC and tengok rancangan masak memasak. wuwuii. susah betoi untuk taknak bagi terliur tengok Anna Olson punya dark chocolate mousse. mama guwa kata makruh weii tengok sampai terliur liur. arghh. pasni kena tunggu berbuka kott baru boleh tengok AFC. aigoo. -,-'
so, kepada yang berpuasa tuu, selamat menjalani ibadah berpuasa laa ye. yang gastrik pulak, jangan jadikan gastrik tuu alasan taknak puasa. except kalau betul betul tak mampu. and try laa minum yakult time sahur. maybe boleh kurangkan sikit gastrik tuu.
eh, jangan lupa minum air banyak banyak oke. so our body maintains in isotonic condition. takdelaa kes darah pekat sangat sampai asek sakit kepala. or extreme dehydration. or in my case, skin breakouts and kesukaran untuk membuang. keh. selagi tak cukup 2 liter, memang muka guwa jadi bulan laa gamoknya. berkawah kawah. jamban ponn sunyi je sebab guwa tak singgah. kahkah. :P
so eberibadi,
bye. :)
ramadhan. party of ibadah. so banyakkanlah ibadah ye anak anak. bulan berkat kan. ramadhan senang sikit kott nak jadi starting point nak beramal since syaiton nirrojim semua takde kan. masa nilah nak train nafsu kita. kalau sebulan kita mampu beribadat and kawal nafsu, mesti time bulan lain ponn boleh an. guwa ponn tengah berjinak jinak dok menghafal ayat ayat hafazan. sekarang tengah cuba hafal Al- A'laa. nak buat witir an. so takdelaa just rely on ayat lazim yang pendek pendek or rely on imam je untuk baca. :)
btw, sekarang ni tengah restarin and train nafsu untuk jangan sesuka hati tune in channel AFC and tengok rancangan masak memasak. wuwuii. susah betoi untuk taknak bagi terliur tengok Anna Olson punya dark chocolate mousse. mama guwa kata makruh weii tengok sampai terliur liur. arghh. pasni kena tunggu berbuka kott baru boleh tengok AFC. aigoo. -,-'
| *meringue choc cake. terliuh wehh. nak nak banyak pulak berries* |
eh, jangan lupa minum air banyak banyak oke. so our body maintains in isotonic condition. takdelaa kes darah pekat sangat sampai asek sakit kepala. or extreme dehydration. or in my case, skin breakouts and kesukaran untuk membuang. keh. selagi tak cukup 2 liter, memang muka guwa jadi bulan laa gamoknya. berkawah kawah. jamban ponn sunyi je sebab guwa tak singgah. kahkah. :P
so eberibadi,
SALAM RAMADHAN AL MUBARAK
semoga ramadhan kali ni, lebih bermakna dari yang sebelumnya. <3
Saturday, July 6, 2013
notes of nonsense #117: taken for granted
mengapa perlu membenci sedangkan kasih sayang tu kan lebih indah. we always have options kan. antara nak atau taknak je. take it or lump it.
sepi bukan bermaksud hilang
diam bukan bermaksud lupa
jauh bukan bererti putus
aku punya dua mata yang selalu tidak melihatmu
dua tangan yang tidak akan selalu memimpinmu
dua kaki yang takkan selalu dapat berjalan bersamamu
tapi aku ada satu hati, yang akan selalu mengingati, menyayangi dan mendoakanmu.
#HappySabtuday
Monday, July 1, 2013
notes of nonsense #116: timeline
As an ASASIAN (2010-2011):
 |
| *one of the happiest moment. to know you and athira. sad that we can't be like we used to be, then.* |
 |
| *O-ians. sekarang taktaw mana menghilang semorang* |
Schooldays. around form 2 masa ni. (2005-2009)
 |
| *zaman mmumaiyiz. somewhere around form 2. kott. huduh. duhh* |
somewhere around 2nd sem degree. 1st sem tak pakai tudung lagi. so err taknak letak. (around end of 2011 to early 2012)
 |
| *baru kenal kott dorang ni. 1st sem masing masing dok kolej lain* |
 |
| *ohh ini time pentauliahan kat UMT* |
and maybe in the future:
 |
| *tuu bukan guwa. tapi mungkin berlaku pada guwa. hopefully. buat puppy eyes* |
footnotes: since zaman sekolah till now, guwa dapat spot similarities: guwa masih lagi have faith on people despite of, being taken for granted. and still having that same look in my eyes. emptiness. :)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
notes of nonsense #115: hecticism
minggu ke 13 dari 14 minggu kuliah. minggu depan last class. and ada class da habis silibus and just datang untuk revision je. macam class specific contract dengan Madam Ramlah, da habis da semalam. minggu depan just datang hari senin untuk revision and check kot kot ada soklan bocor. hari selasa class yang sama, potluck. guwa taktaw laa nak bawak apa datang. sesilap datang bawak badan dan makan je. yolah, since guwa duduk kolej, nak harapkan guwa bawak apa je. mana boleh masak. paling high class, masak megi rebus campur sardin. guwa plan jugak nak bawak megi, tapi hina sangat laa pulak. kompom sampai kelas megi jadi besar lengan.
minggu ni hectic jangan ceritalah. dengan nak hantar LRM-nye, court report-nye, presentation Land dengan Madam 'Garang' Hamsiah, test Land pagi besok, test AOT lusa, ujian kawad sabtu, sukan SiSPA ahad, senin minggu depan discussion LRM, rabu next week presentation defence LRM and the list goes on. penat nak mateyyyy. TT________TT
nasib baik mooting da settle minggu lepas. kalau tidak, terpikir jugaklah nak terjun dari tingkat 2 kolej teratai ni. ingatkan weekend ni dapat laa lepak kejap taknak pergi koko, rupanya.. kena jaga pelatih untuk ujian kawad. guwa da jaga kott minggu lepas. siap buatkan report platun lagi. konon konon baik hati, nak meringankan beban ketua platun. sekali perghhhh menyirap. ketua platun kekonon ada KI pulak. so dengan sewenang-wenangnya petik nama guwa untuk in-charge ganti. agaknya report and kerja guwa yang melambak tu siapa nak buatkan ek? jalan sendiri agaknya. demm. malas cerita. naik temper guwa. makin banyak rambut guwa gugur nanti. guwa taknak pergi YunNam Haircare. member guwa kata busuk ubat YunNam tuu. duhhh.
perasaan guwa sekarang? guwa rasa macam nak melalak boleh tak? penat tahu tak penat. penat otak. guwa mandi sampai kecut bawah shower tingkat 6 ni ponn still semak lagi. in fact, guwa rasa otak guwa ni berasap sebaik je air paip hujan cecah kulit kelemumur guwa. ada terdengar dengung dengung bunyi 'daaaaassss dassssssss' macam air mendidih gittew. boleh je suruh sesiapa gantikan guwa. ni tak, semua dala last minute baru nak bagi, pastu yang ada free time ponn boleh buat derkk je. bukan nak tolong ke apa. suruh datang ko ponn taknak. pastu sukan pulak tetibe je buat time minggu busy. last last week kott. hujung sem. opchoii laa busy wehh nak hantar itu ini. nak nak macam fac guwa sekarang. since guwa sem 4 which is pertama kali guwa ada coursework, opchoii laa minggu akhir camni semua tengah menggelepar nak hantar materials semua. mengapakah tak dibuat minggu depannya? bila da habis kuliah semua? aihh. dengan nak pikir practical lagi. ahh practical hold dulu. takut meletup punat otak guwa. overcapacity.
memang laa nampak guwa rilek je. sebab guwa bukan jenis beauty but bimbo yang nak emo and marah tak kira masa. guwa malas nak marah marah. sebab guwa tahu an manade orang yang suka kena marah and secondly, beauty with brain macam guwa ni takde masa laa nak marah marah orang. aisehh. tapi kalau da macam ni, entah ah. guwa rasa macam nak quit ponn ada. hectic. panas otak. panas hati. panas badan. *sigh*
takpelah. sabar jelaa k Faa. everything happens for a reason kan. meh laa nyanyi lagu Nate Ruess ft. Pink - Just Give Me A Reason barang sepam dua. tangungjawab an? kalau tak boleh nak pikul yang ni, camne lak nak pikul yang lagi besar nanti? as worker, as wifey, as mother, as friends segala. so, sabar jelaa ye duhai hati yang guwa sayangi dan cintai.
anda stress? mari tengok RunningMan.
minggu ni hectic jangan ceritalah. dengan nak hantar LRM-nye, court report-nye, presentation Land dengan Madam 'Garang' Hamsiah, test Land pagi besok, test AOT lusa, ujian kawad sabtu, sukan SiSPA ahad, senin minggu depan discussion LRM, rabu next week presentation defence LRM and the list goes on. penat nak mateyyyy. TT________TT
nasib baik mooting da settle minggu lepas. kalau tidak, terpikir jugaklah nak terjun dari tingkat 2 kolej teratai ni. ingatkan weekend ni dapat laa lepak kejap taknak pergi koko, rupanya.. kena jaga pelatih untuk ujian kawad. guwa da jaga kott minggu lepas. siap buatkan report platun lagi. konon konon baik hati, nak meringankan beban ketua platun. sekali perghhhh menyirap. ketua platun kekonon ada KI pulak. so dengan sewenang-wenangnya petik nama guwa untuk in-charge ganti. agaknya report and kerja guwa yang melambak tu siapa nak buatkan ek? jalan sendiri agaknya. demm. malas cerita. naik temper guwa. makin banyak rambut guwa gugur nanti. guwa taknak pergi YunNam Haircare. member guwa kata busuk ubat YunNam tuu. duhhh.
perasaan guwa sekarang? guwa rasa macam nak melalak boleh tak? penat tahu tak penat. penat otak. guwa mandi sampai kecut bawah shower tingkat 6 ni ponn still semak lagi. in fact, guwa rasa otak guwa ni berasap sebaik je air paip hujan cecah kulit kelemumur guwa. ada terdengar dengung dengung bunyi 'daaaaassss dassssssss' macam air mendidih gittew. boleh je suruh sesiapa gantikan guwa. ni tak, semua dala last minute baru nak bagi, pastu yang ada free time ponn boleh buat derkk je. bukan nak tolong ke apa. suruh datang ko ponn taknak. pastu sukan pulak tetibe je buat time minggu busy. last last week kott. hujung sem. opchoii laa busy wehh nak hantar itu ini. nak nak macam fac guwa sekarang. since guwa sem 4 which is pertama kali guwa ada coursework, opchoii laa minggu akhir camni semua tengah menggelepar nak hantar materials semua. mengapakah tak dibuat minggu depannya? bila da habis kuliah semua? aihh. dengan nak pikir practical lagi. ahh practical hold dulu. takut meletup punat otak guwa. overcapacity.
memang laa nampak guwa rilek je. sebab guwa bukan jenis beauty but bimbo yang nak emo and marah tak kira masa. guwa malas nak marah marah. sebab guwa tahu an manade orang yang suka kena marah and secondly, beauty with brain macam guwa ni takde masa laa nak marah marah orang. aisehh. tapi kalau da macam ni, entah ah. guwa rasa macam nak quit ponn ada. hectic. panas otak. panas hati. panas badan. *sigh*
takpelah. sabar jelaa k Faa. everything happens for a reason kan. meh laa nyanyi lagu Nate Ruess ft. Pink - Just Give Me A Reason barang sepam dua. tangungjawab an? kalau tak boleh nak pikul yang ni, camne lak nak pikul yang lagi besar nanti? as worker, as wifey, as mother, as friends segala. so, sabar jelaa ye duhai hati yang guwa sayangi dan cintai.
anda stress? mari tengok RunningMan.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
notes of nonsense #113: conversations
background music: The Heart of Life - John Mayer
"Your story, it's not boring and ordinary by the way. i mean, we just get the one life, you know? just one. you can't live someone else's or think it's more important, just because it's more dramatic. what happens matters. maybe only to us, but it matters. good night." - K
- "what's the matter with me? why didn't you love me?"
- "i did love you. i still do."
- "then why wasn't i enough? i want to know why i wasn't enough for you."
- " it wasn't you that wasn't enough. i don't know why i did that shit that i did. i didn't get any smarter after what i did. but i did see one thing, how much i hurt you. i'm so sorry."
- "that's it? sorry?"
"Your story, it's not boring and ordinary by the way. i mean, we just get the one life, you know? just one. you can't live someone else's or think it's more important, just because it's more dramatic. what happens matters. maybe only to us, but it matters. good night." - K
- "what's the matter with me? why didn't you love me?"
- "i did love you. i still do."
- "then why wasn't i enough? i want to know why i wasn't enough for you."
- " it wasn't you that wasn't enough. i don't know why i did that shit that i did. i didn't get any smarter after what i did. but i did see one thing, how much i hurt you. i'm so sorry."
- "that's it? sorry?"
Monday, June 3, 2013
notes of nonsense #111: heartaches
blinded by nostalgia. is it me yang sengaja expose diri guwa untuk mengingati benda lama or norma manusia kadang kadang teringat nostalgia? guwa tak laa rasa benda tuu memoir terindah atau terbaik guwa. cuma guwa rasa benda tu, well, once upon a time, were my best memories of all time. once upon a time lahh. tapi lately setahun dua ni, memoir tuu jadi samar samar guwa rasa. maybe sebab lost contact, lack of contact, and my own attitude yang taknak menyakiti hati sendiri dengan ingat benda yang tak pasti.
tapi since semalam, rasa tak boleh nak lelap doe. hati guwa berdebar debar pulak. and sejujurnya, guwa asek teringat pulak. and guwa rasa bersalah pulak kat Encik Prince. uhh uhh. guwa tak curang, serious. perasaan guwa pun tak berubah. just tergoyang sikitlah to be honest. haha. goyang bukan maksudnya fefeeling lama tu datang balik. goyang in terms of terasa sedih bila teringat benda lama. tu jelaa.
and sekarang ni tengah serabut. terasa nostalgia plus serabut sebab tak boleh nak fokus buat kerja mooting. demmit betul. dala otak asek pikir nak tidur je since guwa food poisoning sejak berapa hari lepas. so tak berapa nak larat. suara pun tak berapa nak ada. arghh. decide nak tidur ah. nyte.
PS: nak tengok #KIL ah. lama tak tengok redza minhat on screen. :) dari guwa asek teringat Noh Hujan, baik guwa pikir benda lain an. poyo sangat.
tapi since semalam, rasa tak boleh nak lelap doe. hati guwa berdebar debar pulak. and sejujurnya, guwa asek teringat pulak. and guwa rasa bersalah pulak kat Encik Prince. uhh uhh. guwa tak curang, serious. perasaan guwa pun tak berubah. just tergoyang sikitlah to be honest. haha. goyang bukan maksudnya fefeeling lama tu datang balik. goyang in terms of terasa sedih bila teringat benda lama. tu jelaa.
and sekarang ni tengah serabut. terasa nostalgia plus serabut sebab tak boleh nak fokus buat kerja mooting. demmit betul. dala otak asek pikir nak tidur je since guwa food poisoning sejak berapa hari lepas. so tak berapa nak larat. suara pun tak berapa nak ada. arghh. decide nak tidur ah. nyte.
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| *my situation now: 12, 7, 11, 15, 9* |
PS: nak tengok #KIL ah. lama tak tengok redza minhat on screen. :) dari guwa asek teringat Noh Hujan, baik guwa pikir benda lain an. poyo sangat.
Friday, May 31, 2013
notes of nonsense #110: bahagiakah?
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| *gamba sekadar hiburan lalala. tiada motif terselit dicelahan megi* |
bukak fb lama, teringat cerita lama. banyak benda yang silap pada guwa. banyak laa. sampai bila guwa bukak balik TL account lama, guwa malu sendiri. status entah hape hape. gambar pun entah hape hape. berkawan dengan orang yang entah hape hape jugak. sedih. takut. marah pada diri sendiri. dalam hati berpesan, 'guwa takkan berubah hingga ke tahap ini kalau Allah tak bantu guwa untuk tutup aib guwa, dan tiupkan dalam hati guwa matlamat untuk berubah. berubah bukan untuk kebaikan guwa, bukan untuk sedapkan hati parents guwa, bukan untuk jadi baik depan Encik Prince, bukan sebab nak nampak perfect and innocent depan semua orang, guwa berubah kerana Allah. biarlah kalau orang tak nampak, or hanya nampak perubahan guwa hanya berdasarkan tudung yang guwa baru pakai, tapi dalam hati, guwa je yang tahu bape banyak guwa da korbankan diri guwa untuk berubah. orang tak nampak takpe, sebab guwa tahu, Allah nampak. Dia jelaa yang boleh baca hati guwa kan?'. Allah, betapa besarnya kasihMu hingga Kau telah menjaga aku dari tersasar lebih jauh. menjauhkan aku dari orang yang mungkin akan mensia-siakan aku. menjauhkan aku dari terus lari dari berkat-Mu. dan mendekatkan aku pada orang orang yang menyayangiku seikhlas hati dan mampu memimpin aku ke jalanMu. aku tidak berharap dia akan bersamaku di syurga, kerana aku sendiri rasa malu untuk mencium bau Firdaus-Mu dalam keadaan aku berdosa macam ni. tapi good enuff bila orang yang Kau hadirkan untukku, mampu mengingatkan aku pada-Mu, mengigatkan aku untuk terus berjuang untuk hidup ini, mengingatkan aku untuk mencintai bukan kerana hati, bukan kerana manusia, tapi mencintainya hanya kerana Allah. macehh (*read: terima kasih) Ya Allah... (*nangis)
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| *always been SO TRUE :')* |
tetiba guwa terlintas sesuatu lepas ter-stalk fb seseorang ni. well, sebenarnya, kalau kita bahagiakan Allah dan ibu bapa kita, kompom kompom Allah akan beri kebahagiaan berlipat kali ganda pada kita. in cash lagi. no installment macam kedai seng heng. asalkan kita depositkan hati kita kepada-Nya. memberi rasuah dengan selalu menunaikan perintah-Nya, menjauhi larangan-Nya. InsyaAllah. kalau kita cepatkan ibadah kita pada Allah, Allah akan cepatkan urusan kita. contoh: rezeki, jodoh, kesihatan, kebahagiaan, kelapangan, nikmat kawan kawan yang melimpah ruah.
then guwa terpikir lagi, da cukup ke guwa bayar hutang aku kat Dia? :'(
PS: wanting to fall asleep with broken heart tonight. broken sebab grievance atas dosa dosa sendiri. huk. guwa taknak heret orang orang yang guwa sayang dan orang orang yang sayangkan guwa dalam neraka. guwa nak jadi baik je. so dorang takkan berdosa sebab guwa. wuu.. :'(
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
notes of nonsense #109: kaitan Sogo, konvo dan Faraa yang telah membesar
19 Mei 2013
merempit pergi Pasar Seni. jadi tourist guide atas permintaan Elynn. guwa, seperti cikaro wannabe, naik Dash berbau kedai berwarna Harimau Selatan milik Halila. Elyn pulak as always, naik Honda Ombak putih. guwa just mampu naik belakang je. tak mampu nak ambik lesen lagi. mampu ambik lesen basikal je setakat ni. sobs sobs.cuaca panas panas pilu. merah gak ah muka nak menyampaikan diri kat Central Market tuu. dala banyak kali gak kena kentut bas. ekceli, guwa takde nak beli pape ponn. dalam hati macam nak carik lollies untuk bagi kat Encik Prince since dia konvo esok paginya. tapi Central Market kott, mana nak datang lollies kat situ. ada ponn Famous Amos je. tapi lollies dorang tak sedap. so usha usha apa natang tuu yang ada beras yang tulis tulis nama. tapi mahal gilee. casing yang macam key chain tu je da puluh puluh. baik bagi makanan je an. and btw, guwa da siap buat punn hadiahnye. handmade lagi. just segan sikit laa sebab kecik and tak cantik an. huhu. hentam sajalah labu. asalkan ikhlas ye dak? simple and memorable.
jalan jalan pergi tempah barang dinner untk PKS and pelatih ko terbaik. then gi Jalan TAR pulak. shoping baju dinner. tapi bukan guwa laa yang shoping tu. Elyn dengan Ley ah yang shoping sukun sakan. siap beli kain nak buat baju dinner gittew. pashmina taknak kalah, nak jugak corak tribal tribal. tak tribal taknak jahh. Elyn lak beli tudung ngilap ngilap bagai. ala ala ariani gittew. ada flats segala. tak pernah pernah pakai flats tetibe je dinner nak pakai flats an. nasib tak beli contact lenses je. kalau tak, kompom guwa kena dibacakan Yassin 100 hari 100 malam.
then around pukul 3 tuu, off to Sogo. sebab katenye nak makan. guwa ponn as always, update laa dengan Encik Prince nak gi Sogo. then tetibe je dia kata dia da otw ke Sogo dengan mama dia. guwa da dupdapdupdap gak. kompom kena jumpa punya. adess. guwa bagitaw Elyn, hoh terus bersemangat dia heret guwa naik foodcourt. guwa da macam nak menangis kott bila dia suruh jumpa bakei mertue guwa. Halila kata muka guwa muka kesian. mata merah nak nangis oredi. aihh.
nak jadi cerita, ternampak lak Encik Prince tengah minum kat food court. Ley (*Halila) yang perasan dia. guwa memang da menonong da jalan. kalau boleh nak menyorok dalam jamban. sorok muka bawah jamban cangkung if available. guwa ponn setelah berdiskusi dalam keadaan separa nak menangis, dan setelah di-chaiyok-kan oleh Ley and Lyn, guwa ponn menuju laa kat table bakei mertue and bakei suami (*errr?) guwa tu. sumpah 5 kali guwa u-turn sebelum sampai tuu. cuak+takut+ dinosaur in my stomach.
then jumpa laa. guwa sumpah malu yang amat. kalau orang yang tak kenal guwa, mesti ingat guwa gedik an. yelaa siap tutup tutup muka bagai. sumpah takleh nak show my face. rasa merah satu badan dohh. da hampir nak menyorok bawah meja kott. nasib baik laa Aunty (*bakei mama mertue) sporting. gelak gelak je. elehh Encik Prince ponn dok gelak jahat kat guwa padahal guwa tengok muka dia sama je merah macam muka guwa. saje lettew nak tambah blushing guwa. poyo ngatt! :P
then jenjalan jap dengan Aunty. borak borak. guwa still malu tak habes lagi. pastu balik sebab hari nak hujan. so far, pengalaman 1st time jumpa bakei mertue guwa memang EPIC FAIL laa. gila malu. tak pernah dibuat orang tutup tutup muka macam cipanzee kena cencalok extra pedas gittew. guwa je yang mampu buat gittew. dangg. tapi memang respect laa kat Aunty. cool je. best lak. tetibe rasa sayang lak kat Aunty. Aunty, tak nak ke rasa nak cepat cepat bermenantukan saya ni? saya baik kott. just pemalu jelaa. kehkeh. :P
balik merempit lalu highway. sampai ke PJ. tersesat ekceli. pastu terpisah pulak dengan Elyn. Elyn naik flyover lain, guwa naik flyover lain. pastu tragedi lagi. guwa borak borak peluk Ley sampai terbabas simpang Shah Alam. masuk pulak da TTDI. nasib baik sampai jugak kat Teratai. kalau tak, guwa decide nak mintak Aunty je amek guwa. mintak nikah terus. so boleh ah guwa terus tidoq rumah Aunty. haha. :P
20 Mei 2013
guwa terbangun terkejut. hujan lebat. tempias sampai ke muka guwa. nasib baik terjaga. kalau tak, kompom tempias kena plug. mati da menantu Aunty. tak sempat nak kawin dengan 'Adik Loh'. huahua. iron jubah (*gila muslimah kan guwa?). siap siap terus jalan kaki gi DATC. nasib baik pakai sneakers woo. serious lopak banyak. guwa lencun atas bawah kott. lencun peluh. kaki lak memang tak nampak rupa da, lencun termasuk dalam lopak air. guwa agak macam dak sekolah gak ah. dengan bagpack segala. pastu tangan sebelah pegang jubah sebab taknak bagi kena lopak. motifnya sebab nak maintain sweet and demure depan bakei mertue laa katenye. tapi tak beragak muka peluh macam air terjun. epic fail.dekat sejam setengah gak ah guwa menunggu Encik Prince keluar dari dewan. sempat borak borak dengan makcik kerusi sebelah. katenya anak dia amek degree statistik. lama gak guwa peluk hadiah konvo Encik Prince. then around 11 lebih tuu baru dia keluar. haha. guwa nampak je dari jauh tapi sengaja taknak datang dekat. segan ah. huahua.
last last kena datang dekat jugak. and Encik Prince bawak guwa jumpa parfents dia. kali ni da tak malu sangat ah macam semalam. sebab da jumpa an dengan Aunty semalam. just malu malu dengan ayah Encik Prince jelaa. guwa panggil Uncle. so far, tengok dorang both, guwa tetiba rindu kat mama and papa guwa. huhu. Uncle sangat cool. Aunty lak sangat sempoi je. gelak gelak. envious. i wanna family like that sometimes in the future. :)
then cousin Encik Prince datang. bagi teddy bear kecik. arghh segan guwa datang lagi. hadiah guwa tak seberapa je ponn. sorok belakang badan. rasa macam taknak bagi ponn ada. guwa da memang terlintas da taknak bagi time tuu. tuu yang guwa sorok sorok je canvas bag yang guwa letak balang hadiah guwa tuu. malu gak ah. tengok orang lain bawak hadiah konvo grand grand. teddy bear, angry bird, bunga bunga sebesar lori. guwa? adehhh. =(oo)='
ambik gambar, snap snap. guwa malu nak enter-frame walaupun macam ada jugak rasa nak amek gambar sama sama tuu. yelaa, takkan nak mandai mandai lak enter-frame dengan family orang kan. malu lah. kang kena reject kang padan muka guwa.
pastu gi lunch. huahua. malu lagi. sebab Uncle yang bayar. adoii. segan doe. guwa dala outsider an. pastu payung makan mahal mahal lak tu. huhu. siap dapat tragedi eksiden lagi kat trafik light ss9 tuu. guwa yang nak terlelap masa tuu terus bulat mata. huahua. nasib baik takde pape. just bumper belakang calar and tergarit sikit.
lepas makan, balik. hantar Amni (*cousin Encik Prince) balik Melati. pastu hantar guwa pulak kat Teratai. oke. such a happy day. parents dia sangat sporting. both tak layan guwa macam outsider. and seems like accepting me. Alhamdulillah laa an. pesan Aunty, "belajar molek molek dulu." baik Aunty, baikkkkkk.
pastu malam tuu Encik Prince mesej. sentap sentap dengan hadiah guwa. ekceli, guwa ponn tak expect dia check satu satu mesej kertas yang guwa gulung letak dalam balang. hehe. terharu. at least, he's sensitive to my gift. impliedly suggest that he appreciated my gift eventhough err gift tak seberapa.
overall, i'm happy! i'm now in sem 4 of my law degree. da jumpa bakal mertua dengan jayanya. and seems to get greenlight. kehkeh. cuma satu lagi hurdle je belum lepas, my own mama. jumaat ni turn my mama test drive Encik Prince lak. omg. guwa da start neves balik. arghhhh malu lagi laa jawabnya! anyway, Faraa Chan da besar. da boleh kawen oredi. (#Eh?) xD
fin.
p/s: guwa jumpa Ajim Babyface kat DATC tadi. dia datang tengok graduation kawan dia. danggg guwa tak expect langsung jumpa dia kott. lama gila lost contact since guwa tukar number. dia yang mula mula perasan guwa. bangga jugak. ingatkan da tak hengat guwa. takpe, nanti kita jumpa kat UTHM pulak. kali ni Faa pulak tauliah, Hazim tengok dari bawah k? kehkeh.
ohh ya, malam tadi ada makan makan untuk atlet Teratai. since guwa ni atlet berjaya dalam sukan tarik tali yarekk, guwa datang laa merempit dengan Ley. makan agak sedap. butter prawn, kentucky calamari, spaghetti olio, wedges, kambing terlentang (*read: kambing golek). food haven ah malam tadi. sampai Encik Prince yang kat Keyyel ponn jelly dengan guwa dapat makan banyak. tapi kambing golek tak sedap. bau and mentah. maybe tekak guwa kott bertukar jadi selera korporat. almaklong, tengahri tadi da bedal nasi arab kambing hasil belanja Uncle a.k.a future potential Ayah-in law. kehkeh. xP
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
notes of nonsense #108: brief note to the heart
Assalam.. :)
NOTE TO GIRLS:
One day, he's going to text you. That day, you're going to realize he means nothing to you. He's just another guy. Just another guy, you wasted your time on, tried to look good for, and tried to impress. He’s just another bad memory. You're going to remember how much you like him, and miss him, but at the same time how much you hate him. Instead of getting all excited over this one message, that can mean the world to you, but nothing to him, just click erase and move on with your life. He's not worth it.
NOTE TO GUYS:
When you go days without talking to a girl, you leave her questioning. You make her doubt you ever cared that you're not talking, and she'll eventually convince herself that you don't. You may not think that it's a big deal now, but when she starts talking to someone else I bet you will. She won't wait around for you forever. So be the man and just talk to her.
Kbye. :P
NOTE TO GIRLS:
One day, he's going to text you. That day, you're going to realize he means nothing to you. He's just another guy. Just another guy, you wasted your time on, tried to look good for, and tried to impress. He’s just another bad memory. You're going to remember how much you like him, and miss him, but at the same time how much you hate him. Instead of getting all excited over this one message, that can mean the world to you, but nothing to him, just click erase and move on with your life. He's not worth it.
NOTE TO GUYS:
When you go days without talking to a girl, you leave her questioning. You make her doubt you ever cared that you're not talking, and she'll eventually convince herself that you don't. You may not think that it's a big deal now, but when she starts talking to someone else I bet you will. She won't wait around for you forever. So be the man and just talk to her.
Kbye. :P
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
notes of nonsense #107: thank you
"You may not be his first, his last, and his only. He loved before he may love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you."
thanks Sayang. for always there for me, always guides me, show me my path, forgive me for my mistakes and lacunae, accepting me as a whole, accepted my past, my Archilles heels, my weakness.. :')
thanks Sayang. :') (*kesat air mata)
thanks Sayang. for always there for me, always guides me, show me my path, forgive me for my mistakes and lacunae, accepting me as a whole, accepted my past, my Archilles heels, my weakness.. :')
thanks Sayang. :') (*kesat air mata)
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